If your audience is so captivated that they’ll literally sit and watch paint dry with you for ten minutes (to the theme tune of Countdown, no less), you know you’ve created something truly captivating.
That’s exactly what happened during one section of last night’s Middle Of The Road, a collaboration between Vauxhall legend David Hoyle and razor-sharp cabaret duo Bourgeois and Maurice.
Newly-arrived from the Soho Theatre for a one-off display at the Spiegeltent, the show sees the trio shunning their avant-garde ‘clever-clever’ ways in favour of a life more ordinary… a world that is completely and utterly Middle Of The Road.
Gone are the feathers, glitter and stiletto heels, and in their place are white polo necks, jeans and sensible shoes. After all, who doesn’t want to make their life just a little bit blander?
With the help of some seriously questionable PowerPoint presentations and fittingly vanilla tunes from Katie Melua, The Lighthouse Family and the David Cameron-approved Mumford & Sons, we learn how to ‘paint the rainbow in shades of neutral.’
If you’re really struggling to embrace the ‘think less, agree more’ mantra, don’t worry, you can just have your brain removed. After all, who needs the ability to communicate? We can just use emojis.
And for those really trying moments when a thought or opinion manages to form without our permission, we’re instructed to heed Maurice’s mantra… keep it light and frothy.
The crowd in the jam-packed Spiegeltent lapped up every moment of last night’s show, and perhaps it was our cheers that sent the Gardaí running for Wolfe Tone Square to shut down the music midway through the last song.
An enraged Panti Bliss was spotted pleading her case at the sound desk, but to no avail. Luckily for David and co., the crowd were content to help them finish off with an a capella version of the finale, complete with a standing ovation, of course.
Date: Sep 13 @ 21:30
Duration: 75 min
Venue: Spiegeltent in Wolfe Tone Square